


Higher Ground/Middle Ground

by HiNerdsItsCat (HiLarpItsCat)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alderaan, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Battle of Mustafar, Canon Divergence - Battle of Mustafar, Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gray Jedi, Lothal, Multi, No one turns to the Dark Side but it's complicated, POV Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala Lives, Parenthood, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Skywalker Family Feels, tfw you realize that you've been in a ltr with a married couple for half a decade and didn't notice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 09:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16490393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiLarpItsCat/pseuds/HiNerdsItsCat
Summary: Even after everything that happened, Obi-Wan Kenobi couldn't just walk away and let his former apprentice burn to death on Mustafar... so he took Anakin with him.That single choice changed everything: the downfall of the Empire, the revival of the Jedi, the fate of Padmé and Anakin and their children, and Obi-Wan's own uncertain future.Whatever that future holds, though, he isn't walking away. He never could.





	1. Prologue: Higher Ground

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Higher Ground](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16401476) by [HiNerdsItsCat (HiLarpItsCat)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiLarpItsCat/pseuds/HiNerdsItsCat). 



> Note: This is an expansion/sequel of "Higher Ground," a short story in the "Uncertain Point of View" series. 
> 
> Therefore, the first chapter is in Second Person POV, but changes to Third Person in the subsequent chapters.

Your name is Obi-Wan Kenobi.

You are a Jedi Master.

You are probably one of the last Jedi Masters alive. Everyone else is dead and it's all because of your former apprentice.

No, you remind yourself, Palpatine was the mastermind of this atrocity. He was the Sith Lord who destroyed the Jedi and ended the Republic. But the fact remains that there is a Temple full of dead children and it wasn't his hands who did the killing. It was Anakin.

Anakin, who is desperately trying to pull himself with his one remaining arm out of range of the deadly inferno behind him. Anakin, who is screaming at you that he hates you until his agony becomes too much and he just screams wordlessly. Anakin, who is burning alive as you watch from the higher ground.

The smart thing to do would be to take Padmé and leave before Palpatine's forces arrive. The merciful thing to do would be to kill Anakin and put him out of his misery. But you can't bring yourself to do either.

Jedi are not supposed to form attachments but you did anyway. Even after everything that he did and everything that happened over these last few nightmarish days, you still love him more than anyone else in the galaxy.

Which is why you can't let him die.

He is still screaming and trying to fight you off but you manage to pull him out of the flames and get him onto the ship. By the time you bring Padmé on board he has slipped into unconsciousness.

There are Jedi techniques that can assist with healing but you never learned them. You reflect that maybe all you are good for is destroying things and that's why you have a dismembered apprentice strapped down in the hold of Padmé's ship.

You set a course for the nearest place with medical facilities, Polis Massa, and hope that you won't be instantly shot upon arrival.

* * *

His name is Anakin Skywalker but he keeps insisting that his name is Darth Vader. Other than curses, that’s about all he says to you.

You were initially worried that he would use the Force to try and hurt you or someone else, but he’s still in so much pain that he spends a lot of time unconscious. The medic droids tell you that you probably got him out just in time: any longer and his respiratory system would have been so damaged that he would have needed a mechanical respirator for the rest of his life. Even so, there are burns over nearly 70 percent of his body and he is nowhere near stabilized enough to consider prosthetics.

You want to spend as much time as you can at his side but you also know that Padmé is in labor and you can probably be more useful there. You can’t believe you missed so many obvious signs that she and Anakin were lovers—married, in fact—and, if you’re being honest, you’re a little upset that neither of them confided in you about it. Jedi rules be damned, Anakin needed that kind of stability in his life, and if you had known earlier you could have done something to help.

Something is going wrong with the birth and amid the waves of her pain you can sense through the Force that Padmé is too brokenhearted to fight as hard as she should to stay alive. She keeps calling for Anakin and the droids say that it’s better to wait until they know more about his prognosis before telling her anything, but you tell her anyway: he’s alive, he’s going to live, which means that she needs to live too because they are going to need one another in order to get through what happens next.

You hope it helps. You think that it might.

* * *

Their names are Luke and Leia and they are perfect.

You haven’t been around any children younger than the age they are when they are brought to the Jedi Temple, and you didn’t think it was possible for the twins to be so small. Everything about them is just so _tiny_ and you can’t keep yourself from staring at them like they are some kind of impossible creatures, even though every single human (and most other beings) who ever lived started out like this.

You realize that you have just picked up a new pair of attachments.

Padmé has an extremely close brush with death but survives. She is still very weak and most of her attention is taken up by the twins, but she still asks about Anakin. She wants to see him, she wants to show him their children, but no one thinks that is a good idea, even you. Anakin is still too volatile, the medic droids say; he keeps breaking the medical equipment using the Force and swearing that he is going to kill you. Padmé says that she wants to see him anyway. You look at the bruises that Anakin left on her neck and remember the fate of the younglings in the Temple and don’t know how to tell her that Palpatine has twisted his mind so badly that he might attack his own family.

You propose a compromise: it is easy to set up a short-range holo transmission between her wing of the medical facility and his. You warn Padmé that Anakin is still in fairly bad shape and that he might not act the way she is expecting him to act. She says that it doesn’t matter; she believes there is still good in him.

To say that Anakin is not happy to see you is a massive understatement, but the medic droids have finally figured out a way to sedate him enough that he can only cause minimal damage. He still tries to choke you with the Force but he can’t quite focus hard enough to do it, and he abandons the effort entirely when you hold up the communicator and explain why you brought it.

You told him earlier that Padmé was alive but you aren’t sure that he believed you. When she appears in front of him, projected in blue and white, his emotions flare so strongly in the Force that it’s as if he is feeling every possible emotion all at once.

He’s still wearing a temporary respirator over his nose and mouth to control his breathing until he is ready for an intensive course of bacta therapy, but you can hear him fighting its attempts at pushing the air in and out of his lungs in a steady rhythm. You worry that he’s going to hurt himself but you realize that he is actually too overcome at the moment to do _anything_.

You can tell that he isn’t sure what to do with all of these feelings and the sensation gets even worse when Padmé shows him Leia and Luke. She reassures him that she is all right, that their children are all right, that the horrible vision he had never came to pass. He begs her to come to him but she says that he needs to get better before she can see him in person. His confusion turns to anger when he realizes that she isn’t just talking about his physical injuries, which is when he remembers that you’re still there.

Anakin snarls at you to get out. You leave the communicator in the room with him and go wait outside, listening through the door as they both continue to plead with one another to let them help.

When Padmé finally says goodbye and ends the transmission, you return to retrieve the communicator. You wish that you didn’t have to, because being able to talk to his wife regularly would probably be helpful, but you also know that if you leave the device with him he will figure out a way to contact Palpatine and bring the Empire—because that is what it is called now—down on all of your heads.

As you head back to see Padmé, you realize that she called him Anakin when they spoke and he never corrected her. She may be right that there is still good in him after all.

* * *

Yoda might be the wisest Jedi alive (not that there is much competition anymore) but you refuse to agree with him about Anakin.

Yoda thinks that now that Anakin has embraced the Dark Side, it is too late to bring him back. You disagree vehemently. Yoda doesn’t know him like you do; you probably know Anakin better than anyone else except Padmé, and you know that he is still deeply conflicted over what he has done. Yoda wasn’t there the most recent time you came to take the communicator back from Anakin and found him crying: his entire body wracked with sobs as his eyes tried and failed to produce tears. Yoda doesn’t understand that even though Palpatine turned him against the Jedi and filled him with hate, Anakin still loves his wife and still loves his family.

Yoda doesn’t approve of attachments and you argue that Anakin’s attachment to his loved ones might be the only thing that will save him.

Yoda warns you that once Anakin is mobile again, it is almost certain that he will try and return to Palpatine’s side. You counter that Anakin still has a long way to go before he even reaches that point, and by then you and Padmé will certainly have gotten through to him. Yoda says that you are jeopardizing the entire future of the Jedi and you snap back at him that the future of the Order is going to need every Jedi it can get, including Anakin.

You are getting increasingly angry and because of that it takes you longer than it should to realize what he is implying: he thinks that Anakin should die.

You growl at Yoda that if you see him anywhere near Anakin’s room, it isn’t the Sith that he will need to be worried about—it will be you.

* * *

Anakin still says that he wants to kill you but at least he has stopped actually trying.

It’s enough progress that you and Padmé agree that it is probably safe for her and the twins to visit him. You stay nearby, close enough to intervene if he loses control; he glares at you when he sees you but for the most part his attention is focused on his family.

You can tell that it’s winding him to do it, because he still needs the respirator occasionally, but he keeps breathing on the skeletal metal fingers of his hand in order to warm them up enough to touch his children without making them uncomfortable. He is fascinated by them, by the fact that they are something he helped create, by the fact that they are part of him. You see how startled he is when Luke opens his eyes and Anakin sees his own blue eyes staring up at him. Leia already has a surprising range of facial expressions and her father actually laughs at one point, saying that he’s seen that exact look on Padmé’s face when she’s annoyed with him.

For a few moments, he almost sounds like the Anakin that you used to know, until he looks at you and you see the same look of hate he gave you on Mustafar. He tells you to leave but Padmé reminds him that your presence here is part of the deal: if you go, she and the twins go too. He hisses that the two of you are conspiring against him, but as time goes on he says it less and less.

The turning point happens when you are out of the room. Apparently Anakin used the opportunity to plead again with Padmé to escape with him back to the Empire, back to where he could protect her and their children. As you near the door, you hear her say that, given all of the horrible things Palpatine ordered him to do, does Anakin really think that Luke and Leia would be safe around the Emperor? That Palpatine wouldn’t raise them to be angry and hateful and loyal to him alone? That he wouldn’t threaten to hurt Padmé or the twins in order to keep Anakin in line?

You stay hidden outside, which means that you can’t see Anakin’s reaction, but you still feel it through the Force: the sudden abyss of horror as he realizes that his wife is right: Palpatine won’t protect anyone. Palpatine was using him. Palpatine lied to him and Padmé and everyone else.

The hatred that you felt from him before returns but this time it isn’t directed at you. The twins wake up and begin crying and you all realize at the same time that they must be Force-sensitive. Then Anakin does something that you haven’t seen him do in what feels like an eternity: he brings his anger under control.

What is left is rock-hard certainty. When you step back into his room, Anakin tells you and Padmé that he knows what to do next: he is going to kill the Emperor.

* * *

You sent Yoda away from Polis Massa a while ago, but you contact him again and tell him the plan. He is extremely skeptical but agrees to go along with it because at this point the alternative is hiding away somewhere until Luke and Leia are old enough to be trained as Jedi. He tells you that the twins’ safety should be your top priority, as they are the future of the Jedi, but you know what he is _not_ saying and you tell him to go to hell.

You help evacuate Polis Massa and then you and Anakin set about tearing the facility apart. It is supposed to look as though he finally managed to escape his restraints and went on a rampage before contacting the Emperor. The facility has more than a few cadavers in storage and you put them to good (if gruesome) use, dressing them up as patients and medical personnel, accompanied by as many broken droids as you could find.

You are still seething over your last conversation with Yoda, which makes the task of ripping things apart with the Force oddly enjoyable. After about an hour of this, you catch Anakin's eye while smashing a bacta tank, and realize from his expression that you're tapping into something that you probably shouldn't be using.

You're not sure what to do with that realization but then Anakin gives you the closest thing to a smile that you've had from him in weeks and you no longer care what you might be doing. Maybe it's true that all you are good for is destroying things.

On the other hand, Anakin is still alive, so there is at least one thing that you managed to not _completely_ destroy. 

* * *

Anakin Skywalker returns to Coruscant as Darth Vader, in name if not in reality.

You probably should be worried about the possibility that Palpatine will twist Anakin back into his minion but you and Padmé know better. Anakin’s relationship with the Light Side of the Force might be a little tenuous at the moment, but using the Dark Side doesn’t automatically mean loyalty to other Dark Side users. Besides, Anakin hates Palpatine more than he hates the Jedi.

Padmé takes the twins to Alderaan and secretly helps Bail Organa and a few others gather the remains of the Committee of 2000 to oppose the Emperor. It takes time, but it is time that Anakin needs in order to arrange things on Coruscant so that the galaxy doesn’t descend into total anarchy the moment that Palpatine is dead.

Padmé jokes that she wished she could have seen her funeral on Naboo in person. Making her facsimile appear to still be pregnant was a nice touch, you think. Palpatine will probably use that against Anakin, to try and break his spirit with the accusation that Anakin killed his wife and unborn child, unaware that Anakin knows that he is lying.

You are supposed to stay on Alderaan with the others but you go to Coruscant instead. You aren’t supposed to be there, not just because the Empire will kill you if you are found, but because any hint of Jedi involvement in Palpatine’s assassination will just incriminate the Order further. Once Palpatine is dead, however, the Empire is going to be like a ship falling from orbit and you have been on enough crashing ships with Anakin to know how he tends to act in those situations. There are too many ways that this can go wrong.

Everything on Coruscant looks like a horrible parody of itself. You try not to look too closely at the remains of the Jedi Temple, which is being torn down to make a palace for the Emperor. You keep out of sight and keep your Force presence hidden while you monitor what used to be the Chancellor’s office.

Anakin is dressed in black and wearing a fairly terrifying mask; if you didn’t know him, you would assume he was a completely loyal Sith apprentice. He knows the timing of events, that the confrontation with the Rebellion—because that is what it is called now—will happen any minute now, but he isn’t making a move against Palpatine and you start to realize that something is going wrong.

It turns out to be you.

Palpatine’s guards try to seize you and fail, but the damage is already done: they know that you are here. You can either flee or stay and you know that it’s not really a choice: Anakin is here and you can’t leave him behind.

The Emperor’s response is predictable: he orders Anakin to kill you.

You know that you are about to die: it is what Anakin has wanted ever since your fight on Mustafar, after all. You aren’t even sure that you don’t deserve it.

Anakin draws his lightsaber and approaches you.

And hesitates.

Palpatine begins to goad him, telling him that you are a traitor, that you cared nothing for him, that you need to die just like all the other Jedi.

You can see that it is starting to work but then Palpatine takes it one step too far and says that, if it hadn’t been for you, Anakin’s family would still be alive.

His false apprentice turns and slashes the Emperor’s throat.

You don’t make a move. You know that Palpatine’s death hasn’t made you any less likely to die here as well.

You know that Anakin is considering a lot of things at the moment, not just your fate. The Emperor is dead and Anakin was his most trusted lieutenant and could very easily take his place. Power over the entire galaxy is right there and he could use it to do whatever he wanted. But you also know that he is thinking about Padmé and his children and what they would think about him carrying on Palpatine’s work.

Quietly, he asks you why you came back. You tell him that you couldn’t just stand aside and watch him burn.

He considers that for a moment, then deactivates his lightsaber and asks you if you have a ship nearby.

* * *

Your name is Obi-Wan Kenobi and you live in a Republic again.

The mess takes a long time to clean up; it is amazing how much damage Palpatine was able to do in the few months that he was Emperor.

The Senate gets back to work and elects Bail Organa as Chancellor. He doesn’t seem to enjoy the role and his first action in office is to demand legislation imposing term limits and a vast reduction of the Chancellor’s powers.

The Jedi are no longer criminals but they still aren’t particularly popular or trusted, so the survivors that went into hiding continue to keep a low profile. You hear somewhere that Yoda is trying to rebuild the Order in a more remote location.

Padmé, Anakin, and the twins stay on Alderaan. You know that Padmé is itching to return to public life, but she is technically supposed to be dead and, more importantly, so is Anakin. Either he is the butcher of the Temple or the assassin who killed the Emperor and, either way, vanishing is probably a good idea.

Leia and Luke are growing up and you can tell that Padmé and Anakin are already overwhelmed by the idea of having two toddlers that can use the Force. You offer to help and Padmé accepts.

Anakin is not quite as comfortable with the idea. He warns you that even though he isn’t a Sith, he isn’t a Jedi and will never be one again. You say that you aren’t entirely sure that you are a Jedi either. Somewhere between the war and the Sith and the bloody horrors on Coruscant, something in you changed just like it changed in Anakin and you don’t really know what you are anymore. Jedi are not supposed to have attachments and you are living proof of why, because something in your heart has warped so badly that you care more about a single family than you do about thousands of murdered Jedi.

Whatever the future holds, though, you aren’t walking away.


	2. Take a Step Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Setting: Alderaan, 16 BBY (three years after the events of Revenge of the Sith)

Far too often, Obi-Wan’s dreams were of battles. His shoulders ached as he dragged his saber through yet another wave of battle droids that were quickly replaced by an identical formation, their forces stretching on into infinity. In the fragments of seconds that he could spare, he looked around wildly for Cody and the rest of the clones to arrive with reinforcements only to realize that they were already there: blasters pointed not at the Separatists, but at him.

In the worst of those dreams, Anakin was leading them.

At least his subconscious had finally stopped providing him with nightmares about his fight with Anakin on Mustafar.

The times when Obi-Wan did not wake up in a panic, his chest tight and his clothes drenched in sweat, it was because he was awakened with another kind of attack: that of two toddlers hellbent on having company in the early hours of the morning.

Leia and Luke were almost three and had by that point figured out that alternating between waking up their parents and waking up Obi-Wan tended to yield a better overall rate of response. They were cheerful, energetic, exasperating, and far too clever for their own good… and Obi-Wan loved them to a completely irrational extent.

Although Luke favored his father in looks, Leia had inherited more of Anakin’s personality. She was stubborn and impulsive, difficult to calm down, and knew exactly which buttons to push to drive Obi-Wan absolutely crazy.

When they were younger, the twins had trouble pronouncing his name so they called him Ben instead. Recently, he had started to correct them: “My name is _Obi-Wan_ ,” he told them for what felt like the fiftieth time.

Leia examined him closely for a few seconds, then shook her head. “No,” she said bluntly and ran off.

Meanwhile, Luke seemed to be in the middle of an arms race with his father over evading or dismantling every attempt at childproofing that Anakin could devise. Obi-Wan initially suspected that Anakin had intentionally left a few vulnerabilities in his methods, but it was quickly growing apparent that he hadn’t and that Luke was more creative and observant than everyone had assumed. The other day, he had somehow managed to get up onto the roof and Anakin was still trying to figure out how that had happened.

They were also surprisingly _sneaky_ when they wanted to be. Padmé, Anakin, and Obi-Wan once compared notes and came to the disturbing realization that the twins were probably figuring out how to use telekinesis but had been hiding it from the adults.

“Did any of the younglings you knew in the Temple act this way?” a weary Padmé asked Obi-Wan at one point.

He shook his head. “No, they tended to be more competitive, which was a good motivator to show off their abilities. This is… oddly conspiratorial.”

Obi-Wan could tell that Padmé had more questions for him about the types of childhood development milestones specific to Force-users but, thankfully, kept them to a minimum. It was hard to think about all of those children from the past and how many of them were now dead, especially the ones who died at Anakin’s own hands during those dark days of the Empire. They didn’t talk about that period, or even acknowledge it, except for the occasional time when Anakin would stare at the twins and Obi-Wan could sense something crumble inside his former apprentice until he was able to bring his emotions back under control.

Anakin spent most of his non-parenting time moving from one obsessive project to another. For a long time, that project was designing and upgrading the prosthetic limbs he had received from Palpatine during his short stint as his Sith apprentice. The original prosthetics were fairly crude but, despite the fact that they were now living in a remote part of Alderaan, he had been able to adapt a surprising amount of spare parts for the purpose. Actually, Obi-Wan reflected, it shouldn’t have been a surprise: Anakin’s childhood on Tatooine had been almost nothing _but_ making things out of spare parts, either for Watto or to give himself and his mother some measure of comfort in an environment that provided very little of it. Hell, by the age of nine he had already built a droid and a podracer from scratch.

Luke and Leia would sometimes watch him work, fascinated by the idea that some people could just _remove_ their limbs and open them up to see wires and motors. Anakin would sometimes wait until one of the twins got a little too close, at which point he would use the Force to make his detached arm twitch and try to grab Leia’s nose, causing her to shriek with a mixture of surprise and delight.

The severe burns that he had acquired on Mustafar had healed as much as they ever would without substantial cosmetic surgery (something unavailable to him in their current location), leaving a web of scar tissue over most of his visible skin. It was still disorienting to see Anakin without hair, although Padmé would sometimes draw his eyebrows on with makeup, which he took with mostly good humor.

“It makes me look cranky,” he complained at one point.

“You _are_ cranky,” she replied with a wink. “Just be glad that the twins aren’t the ones drawing them.”

Padmé spent her free time writing. Since she and Anakin were both supposed to be dead, she was no long able to be involved in galactic politics, so she channeled that energy into opinion and analysis pieces under a pseudonym. They were widely read enough that some of her policy suggestions had even been publicly endorsed by the Chancellor; of course, Bail Organa was one of the few people who knew the source of those words.

Obi-Wan, as the unofficial third parent, had become the twins’ designated Person Who Answered Questions, which was becoming an increasingly challenging role as their vocabulary expanded. One morning, after the twins had woken him up, Luke asked him a question seemingly out of the blue:

“Why does your head yell when you’re sleeping?”

“What do you mean?” Obi-Wan asked as the boy scrambled his way up onto his shoulders.

“You yell when you’re sleeping,” Luke said. “But inside your head, not with your mouth.”

“It’s still loud, though,” Leia added, attempting to reach up to where Obi-Wan was preparing breakfast and only succeeding in nearly tripping him.

“And you could hear it?” Obi-Wan asked lightly, trying to disguise the sinking feeling in his stomach. They could sense his nightmares through the Force and he couldn’t think of a way that he could prevent that. He could control his thoughts and emotions during the day (most of the time) but that couldn’t help him when he was asleep.

“Yeah,” Luke said. “Inside our heads. Like how we talk sometimes.” He looked at his sister, who scowled up at him.

“You weren’t s’posed to tell him that,” she said grumpily.

Obi-Wan smiled; it hadn’t been much of a secret. “You’re talking to each other through the Force,” he explained, “and that sometimes means that you can hear things that other people are saying or feeling, even if they aren’t saying it out loud.”

“So why do you keep yelling?” Leia asked. “Mom says not to yell in the house.”

“ _‘Specially_ when other people are sleeping,” Luke added; Obi-Wan could hear his unconscious imitation of Padmé.

He lifted Luke off of his shoulders and ushered the twins over to the table. “I was having a bad dream, that’s all,” he said. “I’ll try to be quieter next time.”

He hoped.

The rest of breakfast proceeded as usual and they got ready to go play outside, to give Anakin and Padmé another few minutes of peace.

Leia dashed out the door as soon as she could but her brother was taking longer to put on his shoes. As Obi-Wan finished helping him, Luke asked another question.

“Where’s your laser sword?”

Obi-Wan blinked in surprise. Given the fact that there were two young children in the house, as well as the fact that they no longer really needed to use them, Obi-Wan and Anakin had locked away their lightsabers. They never even talked about them: the twins were already getting into so many things that their parents didn’t want to provide them with any additional temptation to snoop around. The twins had never seen them. They shouldn’t know anything about them.

Which meant that Luke wasn’t just picking up on Obi-Wan’s emotions. He could see into his dreams.

Into his nightmares. Where, on the worst nights, Luke’s father was a Sith Lord who wanted Obi-Wan dead.

Obi-Wan was out of his depth. He didn’t like to lie to the twins but this seemed like a good time to make an exception. “I don’t have it anymore,” he said.

“Oh,” Luke said, sounding disappointed. “Okay.” He stood and ran after his sister.

Anakin and Padmé were _not_ going to be thrilled about this latest development.


	3. Alike, Yet Different

“Do you think Leia knows too?” Padmé asked. The twins were finally taking a nap, although not in their bedroom since both of them tended to fall asleep wherever they happened to collapse; Obi-Wan recalled Anakin having similar habits when he was a young Padawan. Today’s location was behind the sofa, so the three adults had moved to the kitchen for a conversation that needed to be private.

“I think it’s fair to assume that she does,” Obi-Wan said. “Luke also confirmed this morning that they talk to each other through the Force. I’m sure he told her what he saw.”

Padmé sighed and pressed her fingers to her temples. “I knew that we were going to have to explain things to them eventually. I just thought we had more time.”

Telling Anakin that Obi-Wan still had nightmares about him had not been a pleasant experience. The last thing he wanted to do was cause Anakin’s children to be afraid of their father.

Anakin had not spoken at all since Obi-Wan told him, in fact. He was doing a fairly good job of keeping his emotions under control, but Obi-Wan could still sense the cold edges of fear slipping out into the Force. They barely talked about what had happened even with each other; now they had to figure out how to tell two toddlers that their father was a mass murderer who Obi-Wan had nearly killed.

Obi-Wan realized, with a sudden chill of his own, that if the twins were picking up on his dreams, they might also be doing the same to Anakin.

He didn’t want to think about the sorts of things that Anakin had nightmares about.

Anakin apparently had the same thought himself. He met Obi-Wan’s eyes for a moment, letting a flash of desperation show, and then looked away. Finally, softly, he said “Luke’s said a few things to me lately that… I should have realized that…” He ran a hand over his scarred scalp. “He asked me what happened to my eyes. I thought he just meant the eyebrows but…” A fresh wave of fear escaped him. “What if he saw me when I was… when I was Vader?”

They had faded back to blue for good shortly after Anakin killed the Emperor, but Obi-Wan remembered the sulfurous yellow eyes that Anakin had while in the grip of the Dark Side.

Padmé took Anakin’s other hand in hers and threaded their fingers together. “If it’s any consolation, they don’t seem to be traumatized. Just curious.”

“This might be a good opportunity to teach them to better control their access to the Force,” Obi-Wan suggested. “Being that open to it might be fine when it’s just the five of us in the middle of nowhere, but being around too many other minds could cause them to melt down if they can’t temper the connection.”

Padmé nodded, but he caught her unspoken statement: with both parents in exile, it might be a very long time before Luke and Leia ever found themselves among strangers.

“Besides,” he added, trying to sound more amused than he felt, “I imagine that they will want to keep secrets from one another eventually, instead of just from us.”

“They should learn control sooner rather than later,” Anakin agreed softly. That had been one of his own major challenges when he first joined the Order. He struggled with it even now.

“Would you be comfortable with me taking the lead on this?” Obi-Wan asked, ostensibly to both of them but primarily to Anakin. Even though Obi-Wan didn’t really feel like a Jedi anymore, he knew that Anakin was still worried that he would pass along too much of the Order’s rigid dogma to the twins.

Of course, Obi-Wan’s very presence here was proof enough that he had thrown the Jedi’s discouragement of attachments out the nearest airlock. But, conversely, Anakin was living proof that Obi-Wan’s tutelage had historically not been entirely successful.

Between the three of them, though, they might be able to keep from completely ruining these children.

“That’s fine,” Anakin said. He didn’t look in Obi-Wan’s direction, though.  

Obi-Wan sighed to himself. He often missed the way that things had once been between them, but too many things had happened and their current relationship was often closer to that of wary allies than that of close companions. They loved each other—Obi-Wan had become certain of that only in the last year or so—but that love was a vicious thing that needed to be penned up or else calamity would ensue. Attachment was one thing; the depth of feeling that he had for Anakin bordered on dangerous. This family was made up of people who would do anything for the ones they loved. Anything.

“So, what do we tell them?” Padmé asked.

“Nothing,” Anakin said. “Not until they ask.”

It was pushing the issue off for another day, but Obi-Wan agreed. “Not until it becomes a problem.”

* * *

They switched off who was responsible for putting the twins to bed at night but more often than not it was Padmé who did it. Of the three adults, she was the only one who had experienced something even close to a normal childhood, which meant that she knew more bedtime stories and lullabies. Obi-Wan occasionally wondered over the years if Anakin’s mother had done the same for him, but he never found a way to ask and Anakin refused to talk about his mother.

Obi-Wan still regretted his role in keeping Anakin away from her. The Jedi Order had left her enslaved and never tried to free her after taking Anakin. Furthermore, they discouraged younglings from talking about their families. Not that many of them remembered their families—Obi-Wan didn’t remember his parents at all—but there was a big difference between the memories of a nine year-old boy and the hazy memories of a toddler.

They kept Anakin away from any other sources of stability. And Obi-Wan had helped them do it.

He wandered aimlessly around the house picking up various messes that Luke and Leia had created over the course of the day. Padmé had an arrangement with Bail Organa’s people for a dead-drop of supplies every four weeks, and since the next one was scheduled for tomorrow they were going to need to make room for it. The house was small and low-tech—Padmé referred to it as a cabin—but it was comfortable and felt like home. Obi-Wan realized at one point that he had never actually lived in a house before. Growing up around Jedi meant that he hadn’t noticed how incredibly odd his life was until he left.

He caught a sense of something strange above him and went to take a look out the nearest window. There was nothing to see, just the usual uninhabited wilderness around them, but then he heard a bump from directly over his head. Obi-Wan went outside and discovered Anakin sitting on the roof.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked. Anakin gave him a shrug but, since he was fairly good about telling Obi-Wan when he wasn’t welcome, it was more or less an assent. Jedi powers were still useful for something: it made the jump up much easier.

It was still strange, even after the nearly two years they had lived there, to see stars overhead. Coruscant was basically a giant city, which meant that the night sky was only artificial lights unless one went up into the planet’s orbit. For some reason, being here made feeling the Force seem easier.

Instead of looking up at the sky, however, Anakin was busy examining the roof itself. “I’m still not sure how Luke managed to get up here,” he said, annoyed. Behind the note of exasperation, though, Obi-Wan could sense the excitement that Anakin got when presented with a puzzle that he couldn’t immediately solve.

“He and Leia are both very good at making us underestimate them,” Obi-Wan replied with a fond smile.

“And they’re only going to get more powerful as they get older,” Anakin sighed, abandoning his analysis of the roof for the moment. He hesitated, then added, “I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“I don’t think any of us do.” Obi-Wan remembered the first weeks after he met Anakin: at the time, Obi-Wan hadn’t even been sure that he was ready for the Trials, let alone custody of a traumatized child who was grieving Qui-Gon almost as much as Obi-Wan himself was. He kept waiting for the moment when it would feel like he had things under control, but it never came. Even now, with that child grown up and sitting beside him. “All we can do is muddle through.”

“But what if—” Anakin started to say but stopped.

“I know,” Obi-Wan said. He knew what his former apprentice wasn’t saying: things could go so catastrophically wrong with the twins, just like they had gone wrong for Anakin. All of their mother’s resolve and all of their father’s raw power: failing them might destroy the galaxy itself.

“I failed Ahsoka,” Anakin said quietly.

“I failed you,” Obi-Wan said, just as quietly. He put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “Maybe this time we’ll both get it right.”

They sat together in silence until they heard Padmé moving around below them. Coming back into the house, Obi-Wan saw the troubled expression on her face.

“What is it?” Anakin asked, trying to keep calm.

“Luke said something very strange again,” she said. “He asked when the man with the horns was coming.”

The three of them exchanged an uneasy look.

“I asked him what he meant and he said he saw it in his head when he was sleeping.”

Anakin’s emotions flared and Obi-Wan knew why: Anakin didn’t always dream of the past.

Sometimes he dreamed about the future.

And now so did Luke.


	4. Love Cuts the Strings

Obi-Wan slept badly that night and suspected that Anakin and Padmé did as well. He stumbled through the next morning in a daze and felt a long way from the person he was in the Clone Wars, back when he was able to go for days without sleeping.

It wasn’t even five years ago, he reflected, but things had changed so much since then.

He ended up being the one who stayed behind with the twins while Anakin and Padmé went to go pick up the supplies. He offered to go instead of Padmé, but Anakin was surprisingly insistent that Obi-Wan stay behind. It wasn’t until they left that it occurred to him that Anakin was worried about someone attacking the house while they were gone; Obi-Wan also realized that Anakin was placing a surprising amount of trust in him for once.

Things had indeed changed over the past few years.

The twins were begging to go outside, which he finally allowed on the condition that they stay close to the house. They ran around as usual, occasionally calling for him to pay attention to something they had found or were doing, until Luke settled down to tinker with a rudimentary droid that Anakin had made as a toy. Leia watched him for a moment, but then turned and marched in Obi-Wan’s direction.

As she approached, she grabbed a stick off the ground, which she promptly swatted at Obi-Wan’s knees the second she got within range.

“Leia!” he cried, more out of shock than anger. “We don’t _hit_ people!”

She threw the stick down and scowled up at him. “Stop being mad at Luke!” she yelled.

“I am not mad at Luke,” he said, surprised. “Whatever made you think that?”

“Yes, you _are_!” she said, stomping her foot and looking as though she was on the verge of a full-on tantrum. “So are Mom and Dad! But he didn’t _do_ anything!”

Obi-Wan groaned silently. All the adults had been on edge since the previous night; of course the twins would have noticed that something was wrong. They seemed to notice everything these days. “Luke?” he called. “Can you come over here, please?”

Once he had both children seated next to him, he did his best to explain. “No one is mad at either of you. We were only confused by something Luke told your mother last night.”

“About the man with the horns?” Leia asked. Luke remained fairly subdued; Obi-Wan was dismayed to realize that the boy had been like that all day and no one had noticed.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan said. “We don’t know anyone with horns, so we weren’t sure how Luke knew something that we didn’t.”

Leia turned to Luke and smirked. It was a rare victory when the twins figured out something that the adults had not, and it was easier for Obi-Wan to explain it as confusion rather than what it actually was: fear.

Luke smiled back shyly, then looked up at Obi-Wan. “So I’m not in trouble?” he asked.

“No, not at all,” Obi-Wan was quick to reassure him. “In fact, if you—either of you—ever see things like that in your head, you should tell us, all right?”

Leia looked skeptical but Luke nodded and then asked, “Ben? Why did I see him?”

“Sometimes, the Force shows us visions—things that only happen in our heads but might also happen somewhere else, or even happen in the future.”

Luke’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “I saw the future?”

“You _may_ have,” Obi-Wan stressed. “Often visions are confusing and take a long time to figure out. Sometimes the things you see might not happen at all. The future is always in motion.”

Both children frowned; Obi-Wan had to admit that it was a fairly complicated concept to explain to a toddler. “Which is why you should tell us if you see something in your head that you don’t understand. Your parents and I can help you figure it out.”

“So the guy with horns might not come?” Leia asked.

“That’s right.”

“But what if he does?”

“Then your mother and father and I will talk to him,” Obi-Wan said. He looked a little sternly at them. “Not you.”

Leia gave him a look that he had seen on Anakin’s face too many times. Obi-Wan sighed and hoped that this would end up being resolved without giving her the opportunity to throw herself right in the middle of it.

* * *

After the twins had settled down for the night, Obi-Wan wasn’t surprised to find Anakin outside, making a slow circuit around the house. Even though he had reflected only that morning how far away the Clone Wars seemed, some of its old energy was back in the air tonight. Obi-Wan felt his senses sharpening, his mind falling back into former patterns, his limbs readying themselves for action at a moment’s notice.

The feeling before a battle.

By reflex, he reached for his belt, only to remember that there was no lightsaber there. It was sealed up inside the walls of Anakin and Padmé’s bedroom, next to Anakin’s own saber. He wondered how long it would take to get it out.

“You’re thinking about getting your lightsaber too, aren’t you?” Anakin asked. He must have settled back into his old wartime habits too: their thoughts aligning the way that they often did in combat, anticipating the other’s actions, coming to similar conclusions. Watching each other’s back.

Funny how it took the threat of an attack to bring them closer together.

“Either we don’t have time to retrieve them, or they won’t be necessary,” Obi-Wan said. He felt a certainty behind those words that could only have come from the Force.

Anakin nodded. “If something is going to happen, it’s either going to happen now or not at all.”

“And we don’t have weapons,” Obi-Wan said as it occurred to him.

“Speak for yourself,” Anakin said, holding up a fallen branch about as tall as Padmé. His voice had some of its old cockiness in it, which gave Obi-Wan’s heart a peculiar ache.

The moment seemed to stretch on for hours. At last, it was broken by a sound that was only heard once every four weeks, when they came back with their latest shipment of supplies: the sound of a speeder bike.

The sound abruptly cut off and Obi-Wan’s Force-heightened senses went to work. “Nearly a kilometer away,” he said quietly. “Whoever it is, they’re probably planning to cover the remaining distance on foot.”

“Well, grab a stick and let’s go,” Anakin said.

The space between was full of trees and thick underbrush. Picking their way through it took time, especially since they were trying to minimize noise, but at least their visitor would have the same trouble.

Despite the need for silence, Anakin apparently couldn’t keep from talking. “Do you have any idea who it might be?”

It was quiet enough that Obi-Wan suspected that he was mostly hearing it through his mind rather than his ears. “A lot of species have horns,” he replied. “It doesn’t really narrow it down.”

Anakin was silent for a moment, then asked, “Do you think it might be Maul?”

That thought _had_ occurred to Obi-Wan: it was true that they didn’t know where the former Sith ended up after Mandalore. The Republic finally intervened in the world’s affairs and sent a battalion after him, but Order 66 happened so soon afterwards that its resolution was unclear.

It was also where Ahsoka and Rex had died; Anakin at least learned that much. He hadn’t wanted to know any more than that.

Thoughts of Mandalore also brought back unpleasant memories for Obi-Wan, ones that threatened to open up a wound so vast that it could never be closed again. Every time he encountered Maul, the former Sith walked away with the blood of Obi-Wan’s loved ones on his hands.

He couldn’t let that happen again. This was all he had left.

“I hope not,” he said. He tried to make it into a joke: “I’m starting to get sick of killing him over and over again.”

Anakin didn’t laugh but Obi-Wan felt the brush of his former apprentice’s mind against his. A wave of solidarity passed between them.

They reached the speeder bike without encountering anyone at all. Obi-Wan felt the first prickles of danger at the back of his neck. Something had gone wrong.

It was Anakin who figured it out. After a moment’s examination of the controls, he swore viciously in Huttese.

“What is it?” Obi-Wan asked.

“He rigged the bike to keep going even without a passenger,” Anakin said.

Obi-Wan’s stomach dropped. “Which means that he could have gotten off the bike at any point and slipped around us.”

They both reached out with their senses. There was no sign of fear or distress from the direction of the house, but if they couldn’t get back there in time…

“Take the bike,” Obi-Wan said, beginning to run. “I’ll be right behind you.” While some military-issue speeder bikes could easily manage with two passengers, this one obviously could not. And Anakin’s respiratory system would never be what it once was; even the walk here had winded him slightly.

The speeder bike shot past him and Obi-Wan pushed his body to run as fast as he could, using the Force to make a path through the brush and fallen branches. Even so, the journey seemed to take forever.

He should have known that Anakin would find a way to crash the damn bike.

Apparently he had tried and failed to hit the intruder with it. Obi-Wan found them a only a few hundred meters away from the house: within view but still largely obscured by trees. Anakin was doing his best to keep the cloaked individual occupied, but the fact remained that one of them had a tree branch and the other one had a lightsaber.

Obi-Wan felt a flash of anger at himself. Despite the prodding he had received earlier from the Force, there might have been time to get their lightsabers after all; it was too late now.

Anakin’s obsessive work on his prosthetics had paid off: although he had lost a lot of stamina, he was now nimble on his feet in a way that he had never been before. The stamina would soon be an issue, though; before Anakin could get tired, Obi-Wan needed to act.

He crept silently through the brush until he was within range and then chucked a heavy branch at the cloaked figure as hard as Force-assisted muscles could manage.

The intruder crumpled to the ground as Anakin used the Force to pull the lightsaber out of his hand.

“Who is that?” Obi-Wan asked, walking closer.

Anakin shook his head. “I’m not sure. The cloak made it hard to see.”

They stepped forward and Obi-Wan looked down into the face of a vaguely familiar-looking Iktotchi.

“Kenobi?” he said, slightly bewildered. “Why are you—” Something behind his eyes seemed to click and he glared. “Of course. He had to have learned from _someone._ ”

“...Ferren Barr, isn't it?” Obi-Wan said slowly. He had been a Padawan, if Obi-Wan’s memory was correct, and the intervening years had not been much better for him than other Jedi: one of the large horns that protruded from the top of his head was broken halfway between his forehead and shoulder. On the other hand, unlike most Jedi, at least he was alive. “What are you doing here?”

“I am here for justice,” Ferren growled. “The last of the Sith has hidden long enough.”

“Well, you're going to be rather disappointed, I think. Sith Lords are a little thin on the ground here,” Obi-Wan said.

“How did you find us?” Anakin demanded.

The Iktotchi laughed. “As though you were difficult to locate. Your death was more of a polite fiction than an official cover-up. A few mind tricks and some careful observation was all it took to find Darth Vader, the Butcher of Coruscant himself.”

“That name no longer has any meaning for me,” Anakin said. Obi-Wan could see how hard he was gripping Ferren’s lightsaber and knew that it wasn't just to keep the Padawan from pulling it out of his hands.

“You may tell yourself whatever lies you wish, and even have your master help you believe them, but your actions speak for themselves,” Ferren said.

“Things have changed, Ferren,” Obi-Wan said. “Anakin atoned for what he did. He was the one who killed Palpatine and ended the Empire’s rule.”

Ferren looked directly at Obi-Wan, expression bitter. “How far you have fallen, Kenobi… Everyone knew that Skywalker was erratic and volatile, but _you_ … we thought you were the best of us. The perfect Jedi. And now…”

“You came here to kill me,” Anakin said. "Did you really think you would succeed?”

Obi-Wan tried not to roll his eyes. Of all the times for Anakin to be cocky...

“Yes,” Ferren bit out. “There were rumors that you had been gravely injured.” He glared at Obi-Wan. “I just hadn't expected you to have help.”

“Would your master have walked away from you when you were in need?” Obi-Wan asked.

“We'll never know for sure, will we?” he snarled. “He's dead. Because of Vader.”

“This sounds more like revenge than justice,” Obi-Wan pointed out.

“I will not take the advice of a Sith—”

“Neither of us are—” Obi-Wan began, but a small voice interrupted him.

“Ben?” Leia was standing at the edge of the woods, Luke right behind her.

All three men turned to look at the children.

Luke waved timidly at Ferren, who was still sprawled on the ground. “Hi.”

“Go back in the house,” Obi-Wan said, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. He could tell that Anakin was barely holding it together himself. “Find your mother. Can you do that?”

“But _Ben_ , it's the man that—”

“ _Go_ _inside,_ ” Anakin said, giving the twins a look that would have made even Obi-Wan a little nervous. Leia made a noise of irritation, but turned and dragged Luke back into the house.

Ferren finally recovered from the surprise appearance of the children. “You…” he said, looking up at Anakin with a new kind of gleam in his eyes. “You, who have the blood of so many younglings on your hands… you have ones of your own.”

“You are going to forget that you ever saw them,” Anakin spat. “And you are going to leave. Immediately.”

Obi-Wan was beginning to tremble with what he initially thought was fear…

“Wouldn't it be so fitting,” Ferren sneered, “if someone came along and did to them what you did to—”

...but he was actually trembling with rage.

Anakin ignited the lightsaber but Obi-Wan was faster. A white-hot blast of fury descended on him and it wasn't until it lifted and he had unclenched his grip that he realized what he had done.

Neck snapped by an invisible hand, Ferren fell back and lay still.

Obi-Wan nearly collapsed himself, his breath coming in heavy gasps as the Dark Side burned its way through his veins.

He was falling.

He didn't care.

Anakin grabbed him, one hand on each shoulder. “You're okay... you're okay,” he said. “Just let it pass through you. Let it go back into the Force.”

He tried to center himself but it was as if his “self” was missing. Something had burned it away.

He reached for the next best thing: Anakin.

His apprentice. His friend. His brother.

“This… this feels a bit backwards,” Obi-Wan said, still breathless. He leaned forward, his forehead pressed against Anakin's.

He felt more than heard Anakin laugh. “I used to be the apprentice, now I am the master.”

“Only a master of evil, _Darth_ ,” he snarked, unable to help himself.

“You did this for them,” Anakin told him. “You did this out of love.”

“And for you,” Obi-Wan said. His breathing was gradually returning to normal.

“I know.”

“We need to get rid of the body,” he said, finally able to support his own weight. “Do we have shovels?”

“We have a lightsaber,” Anakin offered, “and tree branches.”

“And the Force.”

“Right.”

They carried Ferren Barr further into the woods, past where the twins usually roamed, and began to dig.

“I never told you,” Anakin said quietly, “what really happened on Tatooine.”

“What do you mean?” Obi-Wan asked, lifting another mound of dirt using the Force and trying to ignore the dark ache clawing at the edge of his senses.

“When my mother died… I killed everyone. The whole village of Sandpeople. Adults, children… every single one of them.” He cut another furrow into the ground.

“The first time you used the Dark Side.”

“The first time knowingly, at least.”

Obi-Wan knew something had happened, even then, but it had been ignored in the chaos of Geonosis and the beginning of the war. He had a hundred questions but didn't expect the one that he asked: “How did it feel?”

Anakin was silent for a time. He shut off the lightsaber. “It was terrifying… like I had a sandstorm under my skin. But I had never felt more _certain_. The Force is usually so confusing and suddenly everything became clear.”

“It’s addictive.”

“People don't like being uncertain,” Anakin said.

They lifted the last of the dirt out and dropped Ferren’s body into it.

“We’re going to have to leave Alderaan,” Obi-Wan said. “It's not safe here anymore.”

“Maybe it never was.” Anakin started to refill the hole. “He wasn't wrong that we didn't hide ourselves very well.”

Obi-Wan couldn't believe he was even thinking this. “What if someone sent him here?”

“Who?” Anakin asked.

“Yoda knew we were here.”

“Ferren didn't know about the twins,” Anakin pointed out, “or about you.”

“It's probably a good idea for us to move now anyway.” Dropping the dirt back in was easier than digging it up.

“I'm not arguing with that, but why?”

“The twins are the right age.” Obi-Wan thought back to every conversation he had with Yoda while Anakin was recovering.

“Old enough to travel?” Anakin was deliberately missing the implication, Obi-Wan was fairly sure.

“Old enough to be taken away.”

Anakin could no longer pretend that he didn't know what Obi-Wan meant. “They didn't send Ferren,” he said, “but they’ll send someone eventually.”

They locked eyes over what was now just a flat patch of earth. A thousand bloody visions streaked across Obi-Wan’s consciousness: what they would have to do, what he would _willingly_ do, if it came down to it.

“I don't know how to break this to you,” Anakin said solemnly, “but I don't think they're going to let you back into the Order after this.”

Obi-Wan couldn't help it: he doubled over at the waist and laughed.


	5. Shadows Can Also Shed a Light

They knew that they were safe for the time being, but despite that they all slept in Anakin and Padmé’s bedroom that night.

When they returned to the house, Padmé’s eyes were full of unspoken questions, some of which related to the faint smell of dirt and leaves that clung to Anakin and Obi-Wan’s clothes, but Anakin took her hand and murmured reassurances that the danger was past. The twins had managed to take up a surprising amount of space on the bed, so Anakin sprawled out on the floor.

Obi-Wan moved to return to his own room when he heard Anakin’s voice in his head: _Don’t go._

Obi-Wan looked around the room, which was fairly crowded with all of them in it.

 _You’ve slept in worse places,_ Anakin pointed out.

Obi-Wan sank down to the floor. Anakin wasn’t wrong: he had certainly fallen asleep in much less comfortable circumstances. Though, now that he thought about it, most of the sleep he had gotten during the war was probably due to being knocked unconscious.

He could sense Anakin’s amusement. _Guess I missed a great opportunity to hit you over the head with a tree branch back there._

What a strange relationship, that it could be strengthened by the kind of violence they had experienced tonight.

Maybe all Obi-Wan was good for was destroying things.

_Not tonight. Tonight you saved them._

Leaning back against the foot of the bed, Obi-Wan tried to find the calm that had eluded him for most of the day. He had succumbed to a terrifying impulse earlier and if he spent too long thinking about it he was going to become too lost to ever return to himself.

 _You helped me find my way back_ , Anakin said. _We’ll do the same for you if you need it. I promise._

* * *

Trying to figure out where to go next was surprisingly difficult.

“The Outer Rim is probably the safest, in terms of avoiding scrutiny,” Padmé said as they began to pack up. It would take a few days for Bail Organa to arrange their extraction, but they wanted to be ready to go the moment that happened. “But most of the easiest places to hide aren’t the sorts of places you should take children.”

She and Obi-Wan had actually considered Tatooine for a moment, but Anakin was ferociously opposed to that idea. He also pointed out that, if someone was looking for him, it would likely be one of the first places they would check.

Padmé at last came up with an acceptable solution. “There was a brief survey of planets bordering the Calamari sector a few years ago,” she said, going through the Republic files she could still access without tripping any system alerts. “The Empire continued it, hoping to find some new opportunities for mining—”

“And keeping a close eye on the Mon Calamari, I bet,” Obi-Wan said.

“You wouldn’t be wrong,” Padmé agreed. “After the Republic was restored, nothing ever came of it. Some of them look like good candidates.” She passed Anakin the datapad. “Take a look.”

After examining it for a few minutes, Anakin got a strange look on his face: the kind that only ever seemed to appear when the Force was obviously nudging him about something. “The first one… that’s the one.”

Obi-Wan looked over Anakin’s shoulder. A mostly agrarian world… tall grasses, farms, reasonable climate, sparsely populated but with a handful of settlements… and something about it seemed extremely important. “He’s right,” Obi-Wan said as Anakin handed the datapad back to his wife.

“Then I guess it’s settled,” Padmé said, giving the pad another look. “We’re going to Lothal.”

* * *

Eventually, they needed to retrieve their lightsabers. The twins discovered Anakin cutting them out of the bedroom wall before he could hide them: Leia reacted as though she had been given a fantastic gift, but Luke looked at Obi-Wan sourly.

“You lied about your laser sword,” he accused him.

Obi-Wan sighed. “It was either that or give you a reason to start knocking holes in the walls—which you _would_ have,” he said as Leia began to protest.

“Can we see them?” she asked eagerly.

He exchanged a look with Anakin, who was obviously conflicted about it. “You know,” he said to Obi-Wan, trying to sound casual, “one of these days we _are_ going to have to teach them.”

“Our sabers don’t have training settings,” Obi-Wan pointed out.

He could see Anakin already calculating what parts he would have to acquire in order to change _that_.

“Outside,” Obi-Wan said at last. Leia squealed and took off for the door, an equally excited Luke on her heels.

Anakin tossed Obi-Wan his saber and it was as though he had regained a limb that he hadn’t realized was missing.

Speaking of missing limbs… once they were outside with the twins, Obi-Wan gave them the standard lecture that all younglings received when they first started lightsaber training: that these were deadly weapons, that a great deal of skill and discipline was required in order to wield them, and that they were absolutely _not_ going to get to hold one today.

Leia and Luke exchanged glances and he could tell that they were starting to plot how they would get around that rule. It was a typical reaction from younglings, he knew, but in this case it was actually possible that the twins could manage it.

Anakin crouched down next to them and rolled up his left sleeve. “Do you see this?” he asked them, tapping the spot where the prosthetic connected with his flesh-and-blood arm. The twins nodded. “A lightsaber did this. I was in a fight and a lightsaber cut off both of my arms and both of my legs.”

Their eyes widened and Obi-Wan tried to keep his face calm. It wasn’t just any lightsaber: three of those limbs were removed by the very saber he held in his hand.

“And that,” Anakin said, pulling his sleeve back down, “is why you have to be very, very careful.”

“And why you don’t get to hold one until you prove to us that you _can_ be careful,” Obi-Wan said. The twins looked downcast, so he added: “But that doesn’t mean you can’t try _something_ today. Go grab a stick.”

The weight and balance weren’t exactly right but they worked well enough. Anakin used to lead lightsaber training in the Temple for a period of time when he was a teenager, which made this feel disturbingly familiar. Obi-Wan tried not to picture the twins in the tunics of young Jedi; it brought his thoughts far too close to what he saw the last time he was at the Temple, watching footage of their father committing a massacre.

The kata that Anakin showed them was fairly basic but just challenging enough to keep the twins from trying to hit each other instead… for a short time, at least. Obi-Wan sighed: the next few days were likely going to be full of a lot of whining toddlers and scolding.

The fourth time he pulled the twins apart, Obi-Wan took away their makeshift sabers and hurled them into the woods.

Luke scowled. “We _were_ being good,” he protested.

“No, you were not,” Obi-Wan said firmly. “We told you not to hit each other and you ignored that. You don’t get to learn dueling until you can behave.” He supposed that he and Anakin _were_ a little too optimistic.

“Can we see _you_ duel?” Leia asked, seizing upon the realization that the excuse of bad behavior did not apply to the two adults.

Obi-Wan turned to Anakin and saw his former apprentice barely containing his glee. Stepping to his side, Obi-Wan muttered, “You know what happened the last time we dueled.”

The last time they dueled, they had been trying to kill one another.

“You’ll just have to hope that I haven’t been plotting revenge, then,” Anakin smirked.

“Revenge is not the Jedi way,” Obi-Wan said as they took up positions a safe distance from the twins.

Anakin ignited his saber and raised it into a guard stance. “I am no Jedi,” he said, grin turning sly, “and neither are you.”

Obi-Wan ignited his own saber and prepared himself: left arm out, right arm drawn back with his hand almost to his ear, lightsaber held parallel to the ground. A flashy opening stance, but one that he enjoyed mostly because he knew it looked a little ridiculous. Across from him, Anakin rolled his eyes.

“Come on, then,” he called to Anakin.

The prosthetics surprised him again: Anakin closed the distance between them far faster than he had expected. Their sabers met briefly before Obi-Wan brought the blade down and slashed across where Anakin’s waist had been only a second before; the latter leaped back out of range, letting his saber swing wide of his body.

Before Anakin could halt his backwards momentum, Obi-Wan gave him a shove with the Force that sent him tumbling to the ground. Anakin turned it into a backward roll, came up onto one knee, and then pushed off the ground, rebounding back into melee range.

After that, the air seemed to be full of nothing but the flash of lightsaber blades. Obi-Wan forgot how loud it could be, how easily his senses were overwhelmed while skirting the edge of death.

He had to remind himself that he was not fighting for his life at the moment. This was supposed to be _fun_.

It was possible that he had gotten those things confused at some point.

Anakin made a Force-assisted jump high enough to put him over Obi-Wan’s head. He descended with an overhead slash, one slow enough that its target was painfully obvious.

Obi-Wan only had to step quickly to the side to avoid it. “Your Ataru needs work,” he said lightly.

“Worry about your own skills,” Anakin grumbled, whirling around to face him. “I don't want to have to make _you_ a new arm.”

The fight moved past the tree line, where it turned into a challenge that was part chase and part acrobatics. They couldn't always see one another, although the glow and the hum of the sabers gave away their locations.

Darting between the trees, Obi-Wan started to see flashes of Anakin as he once was: a snotty Padawan trying to hold his own, a Clone Wars general facing down an army single-handed, a Knight squaring off against Count Dooku himself…

A monster trying to kill him while everything around them burned.

Their blades crashed together, both men putting every bit of power that they could into their attacks.

The molten world of Mustafar surrounded them. A horrifying location for an equally horrifying confrontation.

If Obi-Wan didn't stop this here, everyone was going to die.

The fight went exactly the way that it did before. Toxic fumes filled his nose and mouth, his singed robes were probably only moments away from bursting into flames, he jumped back—

“It’s over, Anakin,” he said, fighting back a cough. He had the high ground.

Below him, he could see Anakin weighing his chances, preparing to jump as his blue eyes narrowed with—

( _Blue_ eyes?)

“Stop this now!”

Padmé’s shout jolted him back into the present. Obi-Wan looked around wildly, no longer surrounded by the fires of Mustafar, but the now-shattered trees outside their home. Staring up at where Obi-Wan stood on the fallen trunk of a tree, Anakin appeared equally startled to be where he was.

“I don't know what happened,” Anakin said quietly as they made their way out of the woods and back towards the house. “One minute I was here and the next minute…”

“We both got lost in our nightmares,” Obi-Wan managed to say before Padmé intercepted them.

“What were you _thinking_?” she hissed, furious but obviously trying to keep that fact from the twins.

“Things got out of hand,” Obi-Wan admitted, clipping his saber to his belt.

“ _Look_ at them,” she said, jerking her chin in the direction of the children. Luke and Leia were huddled together, clearly shaken. “You terrified them.”

Anakin and Obi-Wan exchanged an uneasy look. Something from the previous night, whatever strange instincts had been reawakened by Ferren Barr’s arrival, had persisted into the light of day. They hadn’t been careful.

“I’ll go,” Anakin said, taking off towards the twins at a jog. Obi-Wan noticed how hard Anakin’s lungs were working to draw breath. If Padmé hadn’t stopped them when she did…

Her current expression made it clear that she wanted to talk to Obi-Wan alone. It was also clear that she was still trying to keep her considerable anger under control.

“I’m sorry,” was all he could manage.

“You could have killed each other,” she said.

“I know.”

“Both of you were _adamant_ that we not tell the twins about what happened until they were older. And now, here you are, practically _re-enacting_ one of the worst parts of it. Don’t lie to me,” she said, interrupting whatever protest he may have had, “I saw your faces. You both flashed back and didn’t have a _clue_ where you were.”

“We were reckless, I know.”

“Damn right you were,” she snapped. She took a deep breath and continued more calmly, “None of us can completely ignore the past. It will always be there… but at the very least you could stop trying to do things that would intentionally open the door.”

Obi-Wan sighed. “It has been hard to find balance lately.”

“So much of what you have done these last few years has been for them. For him. For _us_. But you can’t lose yourself in the process, not when we can help you.”

“I know.” He just forgot more often than not. Anakin had tried to remind him of the same thing only the night before.

“Where did you bury him?” Padmé asked.

The question was so blunt that it actually threw Obi-Wan for a moment. He finally answered, “Far enough away that he won’t be found. Anakin told you, then?”

She shook her head. “I know you. I know Anakin. The fact that you returned alone was enough of an answer.” She looked briefly uncomfortable. “Did Anakin—”

“No,” Obi-Wan said, “it was me.”

Padmé closed her eyes for a moment as she exhaled. “How strange is it that I actually feel _relieved_ about that?”

They began to make their way back towards the house; Anakin had already taken Luke and Leia inside.

“He held himself together,” Obi-Wan said. “I was the one who fell apart.”

Padmé took his hand as they walked. “I suppose that’s one of the good things about there being three of us: if we’re lucky, we don’t all fall apart at the same time.”

“I suppose so,” he agreed. A surge of emotion, almost overpowering, welled up in his chest. “Thank you,” he added quietly, “for stepping in.”

Through the window, they could see the smile on Anakin’s face as he listened to Leia tell what was obviously a highly animated story. She and Luke had obviously recovered.

As if reading his thoughts, Padmé smiled wryly. “At the very least, the twins will probably be put off the whole idea of lightsabers for awhile.”

“I’m terrified of losing their trust,” Obi-Wan admitted. “If I can’t keep myself together, if I can’t help here…” He shook his head sadly. “If you’d rather I not to come to Lothal, I understand.”

“Don’t be foolish,” she said, letting go of his hand, “of course you’re coming with us.” Before they reached the door, Padmé stopped and turned to face him, crossing her arms over her chest. “You know, at some point the three of us are going to have to stop pretending that you’re just here to help with the twins and acknowledge what’s actually happening.”

“What do you mean?” Obi-Wan asked warily.

She looked amused. “As I said: at some point. Obviously not today.”

They went inside and continued the process of packing. The past would have to stay in the past, Obi-Wan mused to himself. The present was confusing enough and there were too many things in the future that needed his attention.


	6. First Day of the Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Setting: Lothal, 13 BBY (six years after the events of Revenge of the Sith)

Six years after its brief rise and fall, the scars left by the Empire were still healing. In a way, the impact was only now beginning to be felt in the Outer Rim, as former refugees—including ones displaced by the Clone Wars—made their way toward places they could call home for good.

Including planets like Lothal.

The individuals and families that made their homes on the outskirts of Capital City might be said to lead double lives. Though they were close to what was the only real urban settlement on the planet, farming was still a major part of the residents’ lives. But, because things were comfortable enough that it was no longer for subsistence, during the slower seasons many people had secondary careers.

The Naberries weren’t farmers, but it was true that they also led double lives.

They had resided on Lothal for over three years and during that time the arrival of new settlers was frequent enough that they were no longer regarded as the “new” neighbors. No one harbored that many questions about the pretty brunette who could unite their community around an idea before anyone even knew what they had agreed to, or the mechanic with the burn scars whose young age was only apparent when he smiled, or the friendly auburn-haired man who seemed to be almost everywhere offering to lend a hand. Padmé, Ani, and Ben were nice people, their neighbors agreed, and their twins were adorable troublemakers.

Padmé had not used her original surname since becoming Queen of Naboo as a girl, having gone by Amidala for her entire life in the public eye, so it was decided that they would use that one instead. Obi-Wan finally acquiesced to using the nickname the twins had given him all those years ago, but Kenobi was a common enough name that he didn’t bother to change it.

Luke and Leia had adapted to their new life beautifully. From their perspective, of course, it was just a move from a place with a lot of trees to a place with a lot of people. All they knew about their family’s past was hazy and indistinct, with a few hints here and there that their father and Ben had fought in a war and their mother had been some kind of government person once.

The only secrets the twins really had to keep were the ones about the Force, even though they didn’t always understand why. Fortunately, their habit of being sneaky helped them keep their abilities hidden. They didn’t talk about the fact that their father could move things with his mind or that Ben could always tell when they were hiding somewhere.

And if Leia and Luke occasionally tried to duel each other with sticks… well, that was normal behavior for a pair of rambunctious kids. Even if they were unnervingly good at it.

Padmé was insistent that the twins attend school once they were old enough. This was an area in which Anakin and Obi-Wan had no real grounds to object, even though Anakin in particular was nervous that Luke and Leia would attract unnecessary attention being around so many other people.

“It’s going to attract more attention if they _don’t_ go,” Padmé said.

Anakin grumbled for the fiftieth time that he didn’t see why they couldn’t just go live in the middle of nowhere like they had on Alderaan. “Because the twins have to learn to be around people eventually,” she reminded him. “Besides, we don’t have Bail sending us supplies here and none of us know how to farm.”

“You know, I _was_ in the Jedi Service Corps for a time, learning to be a farmer,” Obi-Wan pointed out.

“For a handful of months when you were thirteen,” Padmé said, arching an eyebrow. “I highly doubt you can take care of a garden, let alone an actual plot of land.”

“I could _learn_ ,” he muttered, reflecting that he sounded a bit like the twins when one of them was in a bad mood.

He found ways to fill the time: most places in the area were usually looking for an extra set of hands to help out, and the physical labor meant that sometimes he could actually get through the night without waking up in a cold sweat, still thinking he was back in the war, back on Mustafar, back on Coruscant, back in the woods of Alderaan, or in a hundred other places that he could have ended up if things had happened even a little differently.

Places where he failed. Where he fell. Where he lost himself forever.

The first time Anakin saw Luke and Leia playing in a group of other children, Obi-Wan had to drag him to a quieter location before his panic overtook him entirely. Visions of the Jedi Temple played over and over in both of their minds.

“And the Sandpeople on Tatooine,” Anakin added as he trembled. “I think I’ve probably killed more children in the course of my life than adults.”

“You likely saved even more than that, though,” Obi-Wan reminded him.

“We should teach the twins how to defend themselves,” Anakin said, ignoring the attempt at reassurance.

Obi-Wan couldn’t help laughing a little. “I’m not sure they’re going to need much instruction in that area,” he said. “They’re already terrorizing half the neighborhood children, from what I understand.” He gave Anakin a significant look. “I’ve no idea where they learned _that_ from.”

“Padmé, obviously,” Anakin said with a smile.

“That isn’t _entirely_ wrong, I suppose.”

* * *

Obi-Wan was actually surprised that the twins managed to get through an entire month of school without getting into a fight with someone. Or at least a fight where they were caught, he suspected.

Leia was adamant that she wasn’t the one who started it, but it was difficult for the adults to determine the exact sequence of events because she and Luke kept talking over one another. Something about an argument with the young Bridger child, which escalated to hair-pulling and eventually Leia punching him in the nose.

“And what were you doing during all of this?” Padmé asked Luke.

“I held him down,” Luke replied matter-of-factly.

Anakin snorted with laughter.

Padmé and Obi-Wan were the ones to take Luke and Leia over to the Bridgers’ to apologize. On the way, Obi-Wan took the opportunity to remind the twins that the Force was to be used for knowledge and defense, not attack.

“But she didn’t use the Force!” Luke protested. “She just used her hands.”

“And what did I say the Force binds together?” Obi-Wan prompted.

The twins gave him identical scowls. “Everything,” they recited.

“Which includes your fists,” Obi-Wan noted.

After grudging apologies had been extracted from Luke, Leia, and Ezra, Padmé attempted to smooth things over with Ezra’s parents. That part turned out to be easier than expected, because soon they were in an animated conversation about an ordinance working its way through the Capital City Council about the easing of pollution laws for regional mining operations. Ephraim and Mira Bridger were community activists who had been causing trouble for Pryce Mining for over a decade at this point, and welcomed Padmé’s suggestions on how to mobilize the local residents for direct action against the ordinance. An obviously bored Ezra dragged the twins outside, with Obi-Wan deciding to chaperone them in case the fragile truce between them dissolved.

The peace lasted about five minutes before they were arguing again.

“ _And_ I got blood all over my shirt!” Ezra yelled.

“Well, if _you_ hadn’t pulled my _hair_ —” Leia retorted.

“I didn’t touch you!”

“Yeah, you did!” Luke said.

“Hey, two on one isn’t fair!”

“Stop spying on us then!” Leia said, visibly struggling to not tackle the boy. Obi-Wan prepared himself to jump in and intercede.

Ezra did not seem to be deterred by her yelling. “I wasn’t spying, you two were just _loud_!”

“We were not! We were being quiet!” Luke objected.

“No you weren’t!”

“You shouldn’t have listened anyway,” Leia pointed out.

“Stop yelling in your heads so loud then!” Ezra shouted.

Obi-Wan froze.

The twins exchanged a guilty look. Luke muttered to Ezra, “Shouldn’t have said that.”

“That was a _secret_ ,” Leia said, annoyed.

Ezra began to look very nervous, especially with regards to Obi-Wan’s presence. “I didn’t do anything,” the boy protested.

“You aren’t in trouble,” Obi-Wan reassured him. The twins looked ready to jump back into the conversation, but he gave them a pointed look and then turned back to Ezra. “What did you mean by that?”

Ezra still looked wary. “They keep talking all the time in class and they’re not _supposed_ to talk in class.”

“And you said that it was in their heads?” Obi-Wan prompted.

The boy shrugged uncomfortably. “Yeah. Or I could hear them in _my_ head.” He glared at Leia. “She’s _really_ loud.”

Leia made a rude face back at him, but Ezra’s attention was back on Obi-Wan. “But I’m not in trouble?”

“You are _not_ in trouble,” Obi-Wan stressed.

Luke tugged on Obi-Wan’s sleeve. “But Ben, you said we’re not supposed to talk about the Force!”

“What’s that?” Ezra asked.

The twins looked horrified. “You don’t _know?_ ” Leia shrieked.

“But you were _listening_!” Luke said, almost bewildered. “ _And_ you pulled her hair!”

“I didn’t pull her hair!” Ezra cried. He wilted a little under Luke’s skeptical gaze. “I just _wanted_ to.”

“But you _did_ ,” Luke insisted, “just with the _Force_.”

“What’s the Force?” Ezra yelled in frustration.

“Quiet down, everyone,” Obi-Wan interjected wearily. He frowned at the twins. “You two: go sit and breathe.” He and Anakin had been teaching them the basics of meditation lately; even if they weren’t actually doing it, they were at least trying to _appear_ as if they were.

Once the twins had finished grumbling and were cross-legged on the floor a couple of meters away, Obi-Wan sat down with Ezra and tried to explain.

Most of Ezra’s focus was on a particular point: “So that means I can do magic?”

“That isn’t really the right term for it,” Obi-Wan said.

Ezra pointed at Luke and Leia. “And _they_ can do magic?”

Obi-Wan sighed. “Something like that.”

“Can you?” When Obi-Wan didn’t immediately answer, the boy’s face lit up in triumph. “You _can_ , can’t you?”

“I think we need to go speak to your parents now,” Obi-Wan said, hauling the boy to his feet.

“This is _awesome_!”


	7. In the Sky, Hiding Away

“This is a _terrible_ idea,” Anakin groaned.

“That may be the first time those words have ever exited your mouth,” Obi-Wan said, raising an eyebrow. “Should I be concerned?”

“Training Leia and Luke is one thing,” he said, obviously agitated. “But this? This is too close to being the Order; we can’t just take in younglings and—”

“Would you rather we wait until Ezra does something too significant to be overlooked by the Order?” Obi-Wan snapped at him. “Because if that happens, there is no way to guarantee that they won’t find out we’re here.”

The rest of his argument went unspoken: if the Jedi found them, they would almost certainly take away the twins. He locked eyes with Anakin as a spike of fear raced through them. That couldn’t happen. They couldn’t let that happen.

Obi-Wan did his best to release his anxiety back into the Force. “Besides,” he said, voice still shaking imperceptibly, “we are not ‘taking him in.’ We are just teaching him a few things, just like we’re teaching the twins. And that includes how to be discreet.”

“We’re not Jedi anymore,” Anakin said, eyes still fixed on Obi-Wan’s, “but that’s the only way we know how to teach. It’s _ingrained_ in us. How do we stop it?”

“These are the same circumstances we were in yesterday, before we found out that Ezra was Force-sensitive. Nothing has changed except the head count.” He placed a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “We do what we always do: we muddle through and hope that we get it right.”

Anakin reached up to grab the hand on his shoulder, held it, and begrudgingly conceded the point.

The twins were thrilled to have a fellow student, although it may have just been because it gave them an opportunity to show off all the things that they knew but Ezra had not yet learned. He soon became a regular presence in their home, something that did not attract too much attention once Padmé and the elder Bridgers joined forces to take on an entire mining conglomerate.

Padmé had been involved in a few community initiatives since their arrival on Lothal but now she threw herself back into local politics with a ferocity that Anakin and Obi-Wan had not seen from her since her days in the Senate.

“If she’s not careful,” Obi-Wan said drily, “she’s going to end up being elected governor.”

“How did _I_ end up as the most cautious one in this family?” Anakin demanded.

Obi-Wan knew but did not say the answer: the sudden reappearance of Padmé Amidala or Obi-Wan Kenobi on the galactic stage would be a relatively pleasant surprise, but the revelation that Anakin Skywalker still lived would be calamitous. Although few outside the Jedi Order were aware of his former identity as Darth Vader, it would not remain a secret if he was found to be alive.

Now that Luke and Leia considered Ezra to be part of their team, the number of spats between them decreased dramatically. Obi-Wan secretly hoped that Ezra was having more of an influence on the twins than the other way around.

Of course, the arguments had not _entirely_ gone away.

One afternoon, the twins and Ezra arrived home in the middle of a pitched debate.

“That’s ridiculous,” Ezra cried. “That can’t possibly be them!”

“It is, though!” Luke insisted.

“You’re making it up!”

“Are not!” Leia yelled.

“Are too!”

“Luke and I both saw it so we win!” she said.

“You always take the same side!”

“‘Cause we’re _right_!” Luke argued.

Obi-Wan sighed. When push came to shove, the twins stuck together.

“Ben!” Luke called, finally seeing him. It was at that point that Obi-Wan noticed that the twins weren’t merely irritated: apprehension seemed to surround them like a cloud.

“Ben!” Leia echoed as they ran over to him. “We saw you and Dad in a holo at school!”

Anakin burst into the room so quickly that it was as though he appeared out of thin air. “You saw _what?_ ” he asked, shooting Obi-Wan a look of panic.

“But Ezra didn’t believe us when we said it was you!” Luke complained. He held out his small datapad. “Tell him we’re right!” he demanded.

The two adults looked down and saw themselves.

Obi-Wan couldn’t tell when it was filmed; likely for some propaganda holo reel in the later years of the Clone Wars. There were so many battles that it all blurred together, but it was always the same: General Kenobi and General Skywalker, the Negotiator and the Hero With No Fear, leaping into battle against yet another Separatist droid army.

It wasn’t entirely a surprise that Ezra doubted the twins’ claims. Anakin’s injuries had left him scarred enough that he looked very little like his younger self, and shaving off his beard had altered Obi-Wan’s appearance rather drastically (Obi-Wan also noticed, to his great annoyance, that he was already finding strands of gray in his hair). There was enough of a difference that they could plausibly deny it to their neighbors as nothing but a funny coincidence that Ben shared a surname with some famous Jedi.

“We’re _historical figures_ ,” Anakin said, a tad bewildered. “When did _that_ happen?”

“Likely about ten minutes after Geonosis,” Obi-Wan remarked. It was indeed surreal to discover that their lives had somehow ended up as the sort of thing that was taught in schools. “A shame that Padmé didn’t get as much attention for her contributions. She probably played even more of a role in ending the war than we did.”

Ezra was flabbergasted. “That’s _you_? That’s really you?”

“Told you,” Luke said.

“You’re _famous_ ,” he marveled. “Why didn’t you say anything?” His eyes widened. “Are you in hiding?”

There was no point in denying that part. “Yes,” Obi-Wan said. He stared very seriously at Luke and Leia. “Did the two of you tell anyone else?”

“Course not,” Leia said, rolling her eyes.

“Are you _absolutely sure_?” he demanded. “This is extremely important. No one overheard you talking to Ezra about this?”

“We were careful just like you said!” Luke protested.

Obi-Wan exchanged a nervous glance with Anakin. There wasn’t much that they could do now; if the secret was out, then it was out. Hopefully they wouldn’t have to run again.

“Okay, but why are you hiding?” Ezra asked. “You’re _heroes_.” Next to him, the twins appeared just as curious.

Anakin gave Obi-Wan a look that plainly indicated that the latter still held the position of The Parent Who Answered Questions. Obi-Wan took a deep breath and did his best.

“Around the time that you were born,” he said to the twins, “there was a man named Palpatine who tried to take over the galaxy. He hurt a lot of people, and he especially wanted to hurt people who could use the Force. So to keep you safe, your father and mother and I took you somewhere where he couldn’t find you.”

“Is he still out there?” Luke asked nervously.

“No,” Anakin cut in. “He… he died. Someone killed him.”

“Who?” Leia asked eagerly.

“I know this one!” Ezra said, excited. “There was this other evil guy, Darth Vader, and he went and stabbed the Emperor but the Emperor stabbed him back at the same time and they both died!”

“That’s right,” Anakin said faintly. Obi-Wan couldn’t tell if he was amused, mortified, or trying not to scream.

“So if they’re gone, why are we still hiding?” Luke asked.

Obi-Wan exchanged another glance with Anakin. They had talked a little about how to explain that part. “Because,” Obi-Wan began carefully, “when all of that was happening, your father did something bad.”

“What did you do?” Leia asked in horrified fascination.

“I killed someone,” Anakin said quietly, eyes fixed on a point somewhere on the floor.

The three children were quiet for a moment. Death was the sort of thing that they knew from stories and history lessons about war. Even in the holo they saw about the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan and Anakin were fighting droids; droids broke all the time and could be fixed. Death was something that happened to people so far removed from their own lives that they might as well not exist. It was a different thing when the person doing the killing was someone that you knew.

“Who?” Luke asked.

“It doesn’t matter who,” Obi-Wan said firmly. “The point is, even though he was sorry, he would still be in a great deal of trouble if anyone knew who he really was. And if anyone found out who I really am, or who your mother really is, then they would know that your father was with us and we would all be in trouble. Do you understand now why you can’t tell anyone?”

Luke, Leia, and Ezra nodded solemnly.

There was more to the story, of course, much more and much worse. But for a first pass, Obi-Wan reflected, it seemed to have gone reasonably well.

Anakin was impatient to move on to another topic. “It’s time to go practice meditation,” he said curtly. For once, none of the children argued with him about it.


	8. Where We Draw the Line

If not for the Force, Obi-Wan would likely have not been able to locate Anakin at all: he had found a spot to lie down where he was completely hidden in the grass of the vast prairie that seemed to stretch on forever.

Standing over him, Obi-Wan felt the usual mixture of protectiveness and unease that often accompanied watching Anakin sleep. On the one hand, he tended to look more or less peaceful; on the other hand, he sometimes looked dead. It was the prosthetics, Obi-Wan suspected: organic limbs had a thousand little motions that mechanical replacements couldn’t quite replicate, which meant that they were uncannily still when not actively in use.

Although Jedi often lived longer than other members of their particular species, Anakin’s old injuries had been severe enough that it was unlikely he would even make it to a typical human lifespan. His body just couldn’t get quite enough oxygen and, even if it didn’t have a major impact on his day-to-day activities, it would grow harder for him to push through it as he aged. Even though he was the youngest of the three of them, Obi-Wan and Padmé would probably end up outliving him, which gave Obi-Wan a feeling of perpetual vertigo whenever he thought about it.

Therefore, he nudged Anakin with his foot more to reassure himself that he was alive than anything else. “You know,” Obi-Wan said as Anakin stirred, “if this was your way of trying to get a little peace and quiet, you should know that the twins are probably right behind me.”

Anakin grumbled sleepily. “They are if you keep standing up like that. Get down and stop blowing my cover.”

He took a seat beside a still-sprawled-out Anakin, who appeared to be lost in thought. “What is it?” Obi-Wan prompted.

“Has Luke been acting strange to you lately?” Anakin asked.

“What do you mean?” He hadn’t really noticed but, if he was being honest, things felt so chaotic lately that he sometimes didn’t look.

“He seems… nervous. He keeps looking around like he’s being watched,” Anakin said, “and sticking to Ezra’s side in a way that he hasn’t before. I keep trying to get him to tell me what’s going on, but he says nothing is the matter.”

“Do you think he’s getting premonitions again?” Obi-Wan asked, now understanding why Anakin was concerned. Luke had not had a vision since they lived on Alderaan: the one that eventually led to their departure. “Strange that he wouldn’t tell us.”

“I don’t even think he’s telling Leia,” Anakin said, fidgeting with a blade of grass, “which might be what’s worrying me the most.”

“And you think that someone might be coming after us again?”

“I think…” Anakin looked very far away for a moment. “I think that we might want to lie low for awhile.”

Perhaps he had seen something as well and, like his son, was keeping it to himself. Obi-Wan didn’t want to think about what that might mean.

* * *

Padmé had been intentionally vague about what exactly she and the Bridgers had planned for the following evening, but was adamant that it did not involve blowing anything up.

“Somehow I don’t find that very reassuring,” Obi-Wan muttered.

“It’s only _slightly_ legally dubious,” she said. “So you might as well come along and take the kids camping.”

Anakin and Obi-Wan were still puzzled by the idea that people slept outside for fun when they didn't have to (in spite of things like Anakin’s impromptu naps), but Padmé had apparently done this as a regular activity while growing up and insisted that it was actually enjoyable. The twins were thrilled, even more so when they learned that Ezra was coming too and had vowed that he knew where to find Loth-cats, though they were probably more excited about the possibility of proving him wrong.

And it meant being outside of Capital City, which, if Anakin’s premonition was correct, was likely a good idea right about now.

The spot that Padmé, Ephraim, and Mira suggested was full of winding paths through the underbrush surrounding the large rock formations that broke up the otherwise featureless plains.

It also happened to be not too far away from one of the mines owned by Pryce Mining. Padmé refused to provide any additional details about their plans, for which Obi-Wan was almost relieved, although he could already see Anakin's mind planning at least half a dozen possible rescue scenarios. The next morning, however, the two Bridgers and Padmé returned with an air of satisfaction that bordered on smug.

They slipped away again the following afternoon while the children went exploring. The twins dragged Anakin off to look at something they had found in a nearby cave and it was only then that Obi-Wan realized that he couldn't find Ezra.

There were a few clifftops nearby that had made the adults vaguely nervous, mostly due to Ezra’s enthusiasm for climbing things, so Obi-Wan hurried in that direction hoping to locate Ezra before the boy ended up anywhere too hazardous.

As he made his way up the grassy slope, he stretched out with the Force and caught a hint of something familiar… something that may not have been Ezra.

Much to his relief, though, Obi-Wan could hear the boy talking before he could even see him. He finally made it to the top of the cliff, where Ezra was in conversation with someone in a dark cloak.

The stranger looked up. “Obi-Wan?”

He knew that voice. One that he never thought he would hear again. One that sent chills up his spine because, if Luminara Unduli was here, then the Jedi were paying attention to Lothal.

Ezra scoffed. “His name’s Ben.”

“Are you taking him away?” Obi-Wan asked her. He needed to know that before anything else.

“Only if he wants to,” Luminara said, pushing back the hood of her cloak. She looked the same as she did the last time they had seen one another: the same facial tattoos on her green skin, the same dark headdress, the same look of wisdom and serenity on her face.

“How did you know he was here?”

“The Bridgers made inquiries several years ago. Another matter brought us to Lothal, which allowed us the opportunity to follow up. The rest of my journey was with the help of the Force.” She smiled down at Ezra. “Would you like to come with me and learn how to be a Jedi, Ezra?”

Ezra noticed Obi-Wan’s expression and looked uneasy. “I don't know,” he said. “Maybe.”

“Ezra, why don't you run along for a few minutes and give me a chance to catch up with Master Luminara,” Obi-Wan said, trying desperately to keep his voice, if not his emotions, calm.

Ezra needed no further persuasion: he took off down the hill, heading back towards the campsite.

Luminara stared at Obi-Wan almost in wonder. “How satisfying it is to see you alive and well; I will admit, we assumed the worst after you confronted Vader,” she said. She looked at Ezra’s rapidly retreating form. “Were you training him yourself?”

“One or two things.” She had said nothing about the twins; perhaps he could keep her from finding out, and then do what he could to keep her from taking Ezra.

“The danger for the Jedi is over, Obi-Wan. We no longer have to hide. In fact,” she added, “we have a new home at last, in the Yavin system. You would be welcome to return there with me… and Ezra, of course.”

“What else brought you to Lothal?” he asked. He hoped Anakin intercepted Ezra first and realized what was happening.

On the other hand, that might not be such a good idea either. Anakin's reaction was not likely to be pleasant. Obi-Wan needed to keep him away from Luminara if at all possible.

“There is an ancient Temple in the northern hemisphere of Lothal,” she said. “A short flight from the capital. Master Yoda is attempting to recover as many artifacts as possible, to replace what was lost on Coruscant.”

The blood in Obi-Wan’s veins turned to ice. “Is he here?”

Luminara was confused by his reaction. “No, but I can put you in touch if you wish.”

“What has he told you about what happened after Order 66? To me, I mean.”

“That you tried to stop Anakin but he returned to the Emperor's side,” she said, “and you vanished in the aftermath.” She took in the view before them with a smile. “But it turns out that you have been here all this time.”

There was a shout far below them and, running from behind one of the large rock formations, Luke and Leia came into view.

The resemblance was too strong to miss, even at this distance.

Luminara actually looked shocked. “I can't believe it… Yoda thought that they were stolen away.” She looked back at Obi-Wan, as if seeing him for the first time. “You had them with you all these years? Anakin's children?”

Obi-Wan couldn't answer. His throat felt like it had closed off. Now she knew and now she would—

“But I don't understand,” she said, tapping her fingers against the black tattoo on her chin. “Why wouldn't you…” Her face suddenly turned sympathetic. “Obi-Wan, no one blames you for what happened to Anakin. And they _certainly_ don't blame his children! You could have come back to the Order, we could have trained them together!” She looked at him, her eyes reassuring. “You didn't have to do this alone.”

His thoughts continued to race. Would he have a better chance of saving the twins if she thought that it was just him? He had to get her away from here before—

It was too late: Anakin Skywalker caught up to his children. With a roar that made Leia shriek with laughter, he scooped her up and tossed her over his shoulder. While she wriggled around, trying to escape his grasp, Luke used the Force to whip up a cloud of dust that set all three of them coughing between their laughs.

Obi-Wan couldn't look away. Neither could Luminara.

“Oh, Obi-Wan,” she said softly, as a sensation of sadness washed over them both. “You couldn't have… you _didn't._ ”

“He survived,” Obi-Wan said in a low voice, “and he found his way back.” He finally dragged his eyes back to her. “I helped him find his way back.”

“You risked _everything_ … why?”

“I couldn't just walk away, Luminara. I couldn't abandon him.”

She frowned with worry. “You let your attachments guide your decisions. You know how dangerous that is.”

“I don't care,” he said bluntly.

“I know how challenging it can be, but letting go of attachment to one’s Padawan is the burden that all Masters carry. You know that I understand—”

“You cast off your apprentice the first chance you had,” Obi-Wan snapped, “when she needed you most.”

“When she turned against the Order, Obi-Wan! _She_ is the one who abandoned us, not the other way around!” She looked at him pointedly. “Just as yours did.”

“But I went after him,” Obi-Wan insisted. “I did what none of the rest of you could: I brought him _back._ ”

“He turned to the Dark Side. He allied with the Sith. He helped slaughter thousands of Jedi—even _younglings_ , Obi-Wan! There _is_ no coming back from that!”

They were the same arguments that he had made himself back before Mustafar. Before he realized that he loved Anakin more than he loved being a Jedi. “Look at him, Luminara. Does that look like a Sith apprentice to you?”

Her voice hardened slightly. “It looks to me like someone who should not be around children.”

The icy dread he was feeling erupted into flames. “You are _not_ taking them.” His heart began to hammer in his chest and he realized, with a sudden horrible clarity, that they were both carrying their lightsabers. He had brought his along, thinking that they could use the relative isolation to give the twins and Ezra some additional saber instruction.

“They can't stay with him, Obi-Wan. You know that, even if you don't want to admit it. He is not a Jedi. They need to be trained properly, or else…” She appeared to steel herself before she continued: “...or else history may repeat.”

“It won't,” he insisted. “It isn't like it was before. They are different and so is he. So am I, for that matter.” He couldn't tell if he was trying to stall for time or get Anakin’s attention or figure out a plan. He was losing control of the situation and coming close to losing control of himself. “What happened to Anakin will not happen again.”

“You don't know that.”

“I would not be here if I didn't think the Force had guided me in this direction.”

“Perhaps now it is time for their journey to continue,” she said, “and that path may not be in the same direction as yours. You mustn't let your attachments blind you to the reality that they would be better off.”

“He loves them. _I_ love them. Isn't that enough?” Of all possible reactions, Obi-Wan never expected to find himself pleading.

“You know that it isn't,” she said sadly. “The Jedi have lost so much already; we cannot risk losing any more.”

“Neither can I,” he gasped. “These aren't just the Chosen One’s children—this is my _family_ , Luminara. I can’t lose them, not after everything that has happened.”

“Please come back with us, Obi-Wan,” she implored. “We can help them, we can help _you_. We can help you figure out where it went wrong.”

“Where _I_ went wrong, you mean,” he said bitterly.

“It isn't your fault, Obi-Wan,” she said, her voice surprisingly gentle. “Your entire lineage was troubled: Dooku fell, Qui-Gon was nearly a heretic himself, you were given a Padawan too early, Anakin was too old when he joined the Order… none of this was your fault. But this,” she gestured at Anakin and the children, “this is not the remedy.”

“You can't have them, Luminara.” His hand twitched towards his lightsaber. “I won't let you.”

“Has it really come to that?” she asked. “You would defy the whole Order, for the sake of a few? For the sake of the man who nearly destroyed us?”

“Every time,” Obi-Wan said softly.

“You truly have left the Jedi, then?”

This was the tipping point, he knew. She could draw her saber, fight him off, take away his family and leave him with nothing, and think that she was doing the right thing the entire time.

The Dark Side roared around him, demanding that he act first. Cut her down, toss her from the cliff. It would be easy. It would be justified. It would save everyone he loved.

But it would turn him into the very monster that Luminara and the other Jedi believed Anakin to be.

“Leave,” he told her, relaxing his hands at his sides. “Don't come back.”

“I am also here to examine the Temple—”

“This is not your world,” he snapped, temper flaring again before he brought it back under control. “Leave Lothal alone.”

“I will have to tell the Council about what happened,” she cautioned him as he started to leave. “About you and about them.”

It was not a threat. He knew that it wasn't a threat. Luminara was just being honest, as she always was. But it still unleashed something inside of him that he couldn't rein in.

“You may end up telling them,” Obi-Wan turned back to face her, “but before you do, I want you to think very hard about something, Master Luminara.” His voice grew dark. “I want you to remember all of the things that Anakin did to the Jedi Order on his own, single-handed.” His eyes narrowed into slits. “And then I want you to imagine what he might accomplish if I _helped_.”

He turned and walked away, heading down the hill back towards the place where his family waited for him.

* * *

Obi-Wan managed to hold himself together until he was alone with Padmé and Anakin, at which point he both physically and emotionally collapsed.

“It is possible,” he said through shuddering breaths, “that I just declared war on the entire Jedi Order.”

“How long do we have?” Padmé asked, exchanging a look with Anakin.

“I don't know,” Obi-Wan whispered. “It depends on so many things that we can't control. I keep reaching out to the Force but nothing is clear, nothing is certain…”

“We're not leaving,” Anakin said with a resolve that seemed to surprise even him. “This is our home.”

“And if they come, then they come,” Padmé said. Obi-Wan could see the plans already taking shape in her head: what it would take, what they could do, what it would mean. “I'm done with running.”

“And you?” Anakin asked him.

They all knew the answer but he said it out loud anyway: “I won't walk away. I never could.”

The fear was still there, the fear and the uncertainty over what the future would bring and what they might lose in the process. The future was always in motion and they were adrift in it, so they clung to each other instead, holding one another so tightly that soon none of them could tell who was calling and who was responding:

_Don't let go._

_I won't let go._

_Don't let me go._

_I will never let you go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end, of course. It's just a stopping point. Everyone gets a minute to breathe. 
> 
> What I'm getting at is that there is probably a sequel coming, but not for awhile.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and may the Force be with you.


End file.
